Just Say No…

…more breastfeeding!  I don’t breastfeed anymore.  I officially stopped about two weeks ago and it was one of the most liberating, exciting things I’ve done.  Let me give you a little back story.

When Jake was very young, I breastfed him pretty exclusively.  After a while, I was having a hard time functioning due to lack of sleep.  My mom was visiting and offered to take some of the nighttime feedings.  I would pump and she would feed Jake with my breast milk.

Often, I didn’t have enough milk to give him only breast milk.  This was most likely caused by my not feeding Jake using both breasts at each feeding, resulting in decreased supply.  I also had a hard time drinking enough water to produce the correct amount of milk.  For some reason, I have always had a hard time drinking my fluids!  Because of my decreased supply, we supplemented with formula.

Let me tell you, ladies, breastfeeding in the beginning (especially when you have no idea what you’re doing) is challenging, frustrating, and exhausting.  It’s also very rewarding, don’t get me wrong.

Anyhow, as the weeks went on, I continued to have to supplement with formula.  I would nurse Jake and then when I didn’t think he was getting any more, I would offer a bottle.

Then I went back to work and Jake went to day care.  I would pump about half the amount of breast milk he needed, so we continued to supplement.  He got so used to the bottle at daycare that when I tried to nurse him, he would get distracted, not latch properly, etc.

Finally, after about three months of trying to nurse, I gave up, choosing to feed him strictly from the bottle.  I continued to pump, but no longer offered the breast as it was too difficult and ended with both of us frustrated and dissatisfied.

Pumping at work can be challenging, especially when you stay as busy as I do throughout the day.  Being a manager at Walgreens, my assistance and knowledge are used throughout the day by all members of staff.  At the time (before we got the new registers), I was required to be present for all returns or exchanges, I had to get change for cashiers, assist in the pharmacy, address customer service issues, along with various other tasks.  This is not including the projects I was involved in (such as building displays or working in the stockroom).

Every 3-4 hours, I would have to excuse myself and go off to a little room for 20-30 minutes.  Sounds nice, right?  To have a break in the midst of the chaos to take a little time for myself.  Not really.  Often, I would get a page or a phone call while pumping.  Someone needed my assistance or help finding something or had a complaint I needed to address.  If there was another manager there, it wasn’t a big deal as they could handle the issue, but if I was alone it was frustrating.  I would have to stop pumping, get all unattached, redress myself, take care of the issue, and then undress and attach myself again. I am grateful to my manager, who covered my “alone time” more times than I can count.  Thanks, Kristy!

So, to sum up this long winded post, I chose to stop pumping at six months instead of the originally intended 12 months.  It was a personal decision and I wrestled with it for several days before I took the plunge, but I must say, it was one of the most freeing decisions I’ve made in quite a while.

No longer and I living in 3-4 hour increments.  If I want to go get my hair done, then go shopping, then go to a movie, I can!  If I want to get a big project done at work without constantly watching the clock, no problem!  I love that I was able to give my baby breast milk for the first six months of his life, but I also love that I’m done.  Now I can focus on solids.  We started vegetables yesterday!  Stay tuned for that post…

Nursing Notes, Volume 2

I was going through my drafted posts and I came across this one I had already typed up!  Talk about forgetfulness!  I don’t know if anyone is even interested in Volumes 2 & 3 of these nursing posts, but here you go anyhow.

Disclaimer:  If you’re not into knowing all about nursing, you may want to sit this one out!

Welcome to the second installment of Bethany’s Nursing Class.  Missed Volume 1?  You can catch it here.

OK, so we covered what to do when you experience dry, cracked, sore nipples and how to prevent them.  Let’s move on to tips during nursing.

The first thing you want to figure out is the ideal position for you and baby.  For Jacob and I, there are two favorites:  cradle/cross cradle and side lying.  The cradle and cross cradle holds are actually two different holds, but since I use props, it doesn’t really matter what you call it. Basically, I sit in a recliner, on the couch, or on the bed, put a nursing pillow in my lap, and lay Jacob on the pillow.

Cross Cradle Using Boppy

I received two different nursing pillows at my baby shower:  the Brest Friend and the Boppy.  There are pros and cons to both.  The Brest Friend is a little firmer and sturdier than the Boppy.  It straps around you and feels a little more secure than the Boppy and allows you to get up and walk around with it on.  When Jake was just a little guy, I could walk around with him on it, but as he’s gotten heavier, it’s more of a challenge.  I was never really able to breast feed while walking around though because he would lose his grip and his mouth would come off the breast.  The bad thing about the Brest Friend is since it is firmer, the baby can’t relax and really enjoy the feeding.  At least that’s how it seems to me.  When baby is younger, this is a good thing since they have so much trouble staying awake, but now that he’s older, I like for him to enjoy the feeding.  I briefly talked about these in My 11 Favorite Infant Items post.

The Boppy is like a small pillow that wraps around your waist.  It’s a lot softer than the Brest Friend and I feel Jake can really cuddle into it.  I honestly don’t use the Brest Friend much anymore, but when I was using both I would ask myself if I wanted Jake to be extra sleepy after his feedings or not.  If it was late at night or if he’d had trouble falling asleep during the day, I would use the Boppy so he could cuddle up on it.  If it was a typical feeding, I would gravitate towards the Brest Friend.

Side Lying

The other position we like, the side lying position, is phenomenal when you are exhausted and you just want to rest for a bit.  What you do is lay on your side in bed or on the couch (I prefer in bed), pull baby up close to you so he’s laying on his side facing you, and offer the breast.  It’s a very relaxed, calming position and Jacob always fell asleep when we did this position.  It was a nice break from all the activity going on in the house and a way for us to just escape to the comforts of my bedroom for a half hour.  I would typically turn on a TV show (Big Bang Theory was my show of choice) and just let Jacob take his time.  No hurries, no rushing him so I could go back to sleep, just calm, easy nursing.

The next thing you want to do is get all your “props” together.  This includes anything you will need in the next 20-45 minutes, because you won’t be able to move much once you start nursing.  My list of props included a nursing pillow of some sort, a huge glass of water (you get so thirsty when you are nursing!), a blanket to cover myself and Jake, and my phone.

In the beginning when we were keeping track of things, I used my iPhone as a way to remember times, duration, and which side I last nursed on.  My favorite app was the What to Expect: Baby Tracker app.  It has options to remember feeding, sleeping, diapers, and vaccinations.  When you get your little bundle home, you keep track of how often he goes to the bathroom, what kind of diaper he has (wet, poopy, combination, or dry), when you fed last, and which side you last nursed on.  I didn’t really keep track of his sleeping or vaccinations, but they would be useful for some people I’m sure.

The other reason I always had to have my iPhone near me is, let’s be honest, because nursing can be a bit boring.  Some people like to talk to their babies while they’re eating, some people don’t.  I fall into the second category.  It’s not that I don’t want to talk to Jake while he’s eating, I just don’t always have that much to say.  Or sometimes I just don’t feel like talking.  I am a relatively talkative person most of the time, but at 3a that’s the last thing I want to do.  Instead, while my little man is chowing down, I amuse myself by reading blogs, drafting blog posts, or playing games like Solitaire.  I also did some of my Christmas shopping via the Amazon app.  Having my phone nearby was handy as well when I needed to communicate with Jeff, who was at the other end of the house, without having to yell and disturb Jacob’s eating.

Note:  since drafting this post, I have (oddly enough) stopped using my phone during nursing sessions.  Instead I typically just watch my little boy, think of the future, and just enjoy my time with him.  :)

OK, so you found your position and you have all your props handy.  Now, you feed…or attempt to.  One thing you want to note is that your breast is a big, round circle and the baby’s mouth is too small to really receive in without a little help from you.  My lactation consultant told me to think of my breast as a big cheeseburger.  When you have a cheeseburger that is super huge, you typically grasp the burger in both hands and squeeze down to get it a little thinner, thus more manageable.  That’s what you want to do with your breast as well.  I flattened out my breast a little bit, angled the nipple towards the roof of baby’s mouth, and sort of pushed Jake’s head towards my breast.  It is definitely easier to show than explain, so for tons of tips and tricks, ask your LC.  The hospital should provide them, but if not find your local Le Leche League.

Something everyone has an opinion on is how exactly to feed.  I had several people tell me several different things when it came to how long to nurse, which breast to nurse out of, when to switch sides, etc.  This is my opinion on what worked best for me.  I think every woman has to decide what is best for her as well.

When I first started nursing, I was nursing for 5-10 minutes on each side.  I started with the opposite breast I used at the beginning of the last feeding.  For example, if I started using my left breast at 6a and then switched to my right, I would use my right breast at 8a even though it was the breast I finished the 6a feeding out of.

After reading lots of opinions about using both breasts at each feeding, I switched up my technique.  I started using one breast at each feeding and then alternating at the next feeding.  For example, I would feed exclusively out of the left breast at 6a and then exclusively out of the right breast at 8a.  Again, I read lots of opinions about this way of nursing.

Ultimately, I consulted Manika, my neonatologist friend.  I felt like I was having production problems and wanted a little consulting.  Basically when Jake would nurse, he would be latched on for a good long while, then pull off like he was done.  Then, not 30 minutes later, he would be bawling and gnawing on his hands signalling he was hungry.  I would nurse him again and the cycle would repeat.  Finally, I would give him a bottle and he would be fine.  I think I wasn’t producing enough for him.

Anyhow, Manika suggested I nurse for 15 minutes on one side, burp him, and then switch to the second side for 15 minutes.  You want to give your little one enough time on each breast to reach the rich hindmilk (the milk that keeps their little bellies full and have all the yummy nutrients they need to grow) while still stimulating each breast.  To increase my milk supply, she also suggested pumping for 15 minutes after Jake was done eating to tell my body I needed more milk for my growing boy.  (BTW, this method really worked for me!  If you need to increase your milk supply, I suggest you follow this plan too.)

The moral of the story for me was to nurse with both breast at each feeding even if the baby only eats on one side for a few minutes.  In the first 3-4 weeks, you are building your milk supply and you want to make sure your body realizes the baby’s needs.  Also, feed as often as your baby wants to eat.  This also stimulates milk production and helps your body understand how much your little one needs.

A big struggle you will most likely find yourself faced with is keeping baby awake during feedings.  If your little one is anything like mine, he will nurse for maybe 5-10 minutes and then fall asleep.  Most likely, he isn’t getting the hindmilk he needs and he probably can’t stay awake long enough to nurse on each breast.  There are several things you can do to keep him awake, even though I hate waking a sleeping baby!  Little babies want nothing more than to sleep.  They get a teeny amount of food in their bellies (just enough to be satisfied for 30 minutes or so) and want to go back to sleep.  This means they aren’t getting the hindmilk  and you will probably be awake again in a few minutes to nurse again.

First, strip the little one down to just his diaper.  Yes, he will be cold.  Yes, you will have to fight your urge to keep him covered.  You are trying to make him slightly uncomfortable so he wakes up.  I hated doing this because after he was done nursing I had to dress him again.  His clothes would be cold from not being next to his body, therefore waking him up after he was done with his nighttime feeding.  I eventually resorted to putting his clothes under the blanket we were using to try to hold in some of the warmth.

The second thing you can try is having Dad get his hands wet with cold water and touching the baby’s back, legs, face, etc.  Again, the cold should wake him up and jar him enough to want to continue feeding.  Again, you will hate making your little one cold, but just keep telling yourself it is for the best.

Third, try bugging your little guy.  Play with his feet, tap under his chin, tickle him, etc.  Do anything you can think of to startle him awake so he remembers what he is there to do.

Finally, change a diaper.  The movement and having their privates exposed to cold air usually wakes them up at least a little bit.  I found myself feeding from one breast until Jake fell asleep, then changing his diaper midway through the feeding.  After the diaper change, I would switch breasts and hope he stayed awake long enough to reach the hindmilk on breast #2.  You can also try burping in between breasts, though burping sometimes has the effect of inducing sleep instead of waking.

Side note on burping:  as I stated in the previous post, most people say you don’t have to burp breastfed babies since they don’t take in much air at all, but Jake struggled with “gassies” when he was little.  After we started burping him, he got better.  I typically burp him any time he pulls off the breast.  Sometimes I burp him for a few seconds, other times I go longer.  It depends on how fussy he seems and how long it has been since I burped him the last time.

You may be wondering how often you need to feed your baby.  Your pediatrician should go over this with you and they may tell you something different than I’m going to tell you.  This is what I was told and what I ultimately ended up doing.  Every baby is different and you have to find what works best for you.  For us, we fed Jake every 2-3 hours during the day without much exception.  Before you ask, yes, that’s every two hours from the start of one feeding to the  start of the next.  Yep, you will feel like all you’re doing is feeding the baby and changing his diaper.  You won’t have much time for anything else.  Make your casseroles up before you go into labor, invite people over to do your laundry and clean your house, prepare yourself for sleep deprivation.  It sucks.  But you know what?  It’s temporary.  It doesn’t last that long (though it seems like forever when you’re living it).

We fed Jake every 2-3  hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night unless he told us otherwise.  We had to wake him up during the day because he just wanted to sleep, but at night he definitely didn’t skip any meals.  I would always set my alarm clock for the 4 hour mark, but he would wake us up by 3 hours at the latest.  You have to wake the baby up to feed until he’s back up to his birth weight.  When we went to the pediatrician for Jacob’s two week check up and they told us we no longer had to wake him up to feed him, I did a little happy dance!  Yay!  We can let him sleep if he wants!  Jake has settled in to a pretty predictable 3 hour feeding schedule, but sometimes in the evening he goes 4-5 hours.  It’s not too bad!

Speaking of scheduling, I tried getting Jacob on a schedule in the first few weeks.  I had read lots of books that said it was never too early to try.  My opinion?  Two weeks old is too early.  Four weeks old is too early.  Six weeks old is pushing it, but it’s not unheard of.  Your baby will probably decide his own schedule.  You just have to watch him so he can tell you what that schedule is.  As I said, Jake is on a relatively predictable 3 hour feeding schedule.  He determined that himself…he just had to let me know it!

I think this post is long enough for now.  In the next post, we will discuss pumping at length.  You are on the edge of your seat.  I just know it!

Please keep in mind that everything I discussed today is based on what works best for me and Jacob.  Hopefully you’ll get some tips that you can use with your little one, but chances are your experiences will vary some.  Regardless, please contact me if you have any questions!

Nursing Notes, Volume One

*Disclaimer for the men:  Anatomical talk is contained within the following blog post.  If you have no interest in talking boobies, you might ought to stick to espn.com for today.  :)

When your baby is born, you are automatically supposed to know how, when, and how much to feed him.  You will know which techniques will work best for you and your little one straight away with no learning required.  He will be able to latch on with no problems, stay awake for the entire feeding, and not need help burping.  Your body will make plenty of milk for him and you will never question whether or not he is getting enough food.

Wait.  That’s not how it works?  You mean brand spanking new mamas actually have questions about breastfeeding?  No way.

Becoming a mom is hard.  Your whole life changes in an instant and  you just expect you will know exactly what to do.  This could not be farther from the truth.  Sure, there is a definite mother’s instinct that kicks in, but believe me you will have enough questions to fill a book.  There have been several books written about these questions in fact.  Can you believe everything they say?  No.  Will your experience mirror what is written in those books?  Probably not.

I wish I had all the answers when Jacob was born.  I wish I knew exactly what to do and how to do it and what each whimper and cry he made signaled.  That, my friends, is just not the way it works.  I questioned every single move I made for the first few weeks.  I’m sure I will keep questioning myself for the rest of his life.  I figured out kids are based heavily on trial and error.  I wanted to share some of my trials and errors with you when it comes to breastfeeding as well as some of my thoughts on the topic.

Breastfeeding is a very personal and private decision.  I believe every woman has the right to choose whether or not she will nurse her baby.  I also believe that whatever decision she makes is the right one for her and her little one.  For me, it was a somewhat difficult decision but, after the choice was made, it’s a decision I never questioned.

For some reason, the idea of nursing was just weird at first.  To be blunt, the thought of a little person hanging off my boobs was not very appealing.  Then, after talking to Carolyn, I started to see the bigger picture.  Breast milk is the absolute most perfect food for my little boy.  It changes as his nutritional needs change.  In fact, I recently read that as a breastfed baby gets older, he may not necessarily need more ounces as a formula fed baby does since the breast milk’s nutritional makeup develops and becomes more filling.  That is crazy and awesome at the same time!

In addition to breast milk being the most perfect food, nursing has tons of other benefits.  Breast fed babies typically have a better immune system therefore they don’t seem to get sick as often as formula fed babies.  You don’t need to burp breast fed babies as much since they don’t take as much air into their bodies as with bottles.  Breast milk is free,  convenient (in the natural form), and always at the right temperature.  (I hate warming bottles in the middle of the night!)  Nursing can also help you lose that baby weight as your body typically burns around 500 calories a day producing the milk.

One of the most important things to me however is the bond Jacob and I share when he’s nursing.  When my little boy is crying and chewing on his hands, I know what he needs.  Being able to quickly and efficiently provide food for him is one of the best feelings in the world.  Looking down at that little face, stroking his hair, and feeling his warmth next to my skin is one of the most precious things in all the world.  It’s our time together and I look forward to it every night.  Sure, sleep would be wonderful, but seeing that little face at 3a makes up for the lack of sleep.

Let me backtrack a little though.  I want to say when you are first learning to breastfeed (yes, it is a learned process for both you AND your little one), it is tough.  I struggled with it and my little one had no problems latching on!  I actually feel I got lucky in the breastfeeding game.  I still think learning to breastfeed is tough.  I can see how so many women give up on it.

When I first came home from the hospital, I had tons of questions.  I asked everyone from my mom to my fellow new mothers to an old high school friend that, lucky for me, is now a neonatologist and studied to be a lactation consultant.  Thanks for all the help, Manika!  As I have said several times in the past, ask as many questions of as many people as you can!  Knowledge is power!

The first thing I had problems with is (pardon me for being frank) sore, cracked nipples.  You know how you get chapped lips in the winter?  Well, when you moisten your lips with your tongue, it feels better at first and then dries out even more, right?  The best way to soothe and heal your lips is to add some lip balm.  That is essentially what lanolin does for your nipples.  Your little one will be nursing 8-12 times (sometimes more) a day.  He will get saliva and breast milk on your nipple and cause them to dry out a little bit.  Pay attention when I tell you to apply lanolin after every. single. feeding. no matter how tired you are at least for the first few weeks.  You will thank me for this.  I skipped a 12 hour period while in the hospital and I regretted it.  My nipples became raw, cracked, and bleeding.  It took several days for them to heal and even now they are sometimes more sensitive than others.

My favorite lanolin is the Medela brand.  It is thicker than the Lansinoh brand, goes on smoother, and seems to stay on longer.  However, if you are like me and you accidentally kill your nipples, there are some things you can use to fix the problem.

First thing’s first: help your lanolin work best for you.  Invest in some gel pads.  I would put the lanolin on my nipples, then put these gel pads over them.  Everything got held in place by a nighttime nursing bra.  It’s similar to a sports bra, but with pockets that can be moved out of the way to nurse.  I found mine at Target, but I’m sure they are everywhere.  I kept the gel pads on 24/7 for about 3 or 4 days.  The only times I would remove them would be to nurse or to shower.  Speaking of shower, they say to avoid washing your breasts with soap as it can be drying.  They also say putting breastmilk on your nipples and letting them air dry will help prevent soreness and cracking, but if you use the lanolin I’m sure that would work just fine too.

The other thing that can help you both with curing your nipple situation and relieving some of the pain that comes with the soreness and cracking is a nipple shield.  They also aid in helping your little one obtain the correct latch.  They provide a barrier between your little one’s mouth and the soreness you may experience.  If you do develop dry, cracked nipples, the last thing on Earth you want to do is let some little 8 pound monster suckle on you.  It is pain you can’t even imagine (unless you gave birth with no pain meds…which I know nothing about).  I remember being in tears at the thought of letting Jake even close to my breasts before I used the nipple shield.  These nipple shields are amazing though.  They let you continue nursing while providing a bit of relief at the same time.  They also, like I said, help train your little one’s mouth.  The nipple shield pulls the nipple up into the plastic and provides a study base for your little one to latch on it.  It really helped Jake understand what he was supposed to be doing.  Now, weeks later, he has no problem latching right on.

This is just the first in a series of posts about nursing.  Stay tuned for part 2!