A little less than two years ago, I looked at myself in the mirror and realized I didn’t like who was looking back at me.
(Crap picture, I know, but I didn’t have a whole lot of pictures from the neck down to choose from!)
More specifically, I didn’t like the extra pounds I was lugging around. My 5’2″ frame is supposed to weigh (at the highest) around 125, not the 165 I had packed on to “keep myself warm for the winter”. So I decided to make a change. I cut calories, increased exercise, and tried to make healthy decisions. Little by little the pounds crept off.
I got down to 138, which is still high, but it was 27 pounds smaller than my highest! What a great achievement!
So what happened? Why have I found myself back in the position? I can tell you exactly why. I got lazy. When I got down to my low, I decided I could just eat whatever I wanted. I had done such great work, I deserved a break! I wouldn’t put the weight back on! I’d always been able to each whatever and keep the weight off! (I mean, really??? Then how did I end up overweight??? This is a prime example of lying to yourself!)
I also got pregnant, which, even though I KNEW better, meant I could eat whatever I wanted cause it was “what the baby wanted”. Bullshit.
What did this get me? Uncomfortable and self conscious on what I consider to be one of the best vacations I’ve ever been on. (I just got back from a week in Maui.)
So, today I can make a choice. Continue on the path I have been on for the last several months, making bad decisions, not exercising like I should, eating crap OR do what is best for my body. The main reason I started eating better and exercising before is because I wanted my body to be healthy for my future child. I wanted a safe, healthy environment to grow my offspring. What’s changed? Nothing.
That is my motivation. Not to look good in a bathing suit, not to feel comfortable in my clothes again, not to feel proud instead of ashamed that I don’t get winded going up the stairs. Nope. Those will all be bonuses, of course, but my main motivation is to be a healthy mommy for Baby D.
So, little baby, just know Mama is getting healthy for you, whenever you decide to show up. I’ll be waiting…
